After divorce, it takes a lot of courage and faith to decide to remarry. This is because once such a serious relationship fails, it can be difficult to believe that you can make it the next time.
Even the statistics are against divorcees, saying that second marriages are 60% more likely to end in divorce. But, don’t get disheartened by this.
Second or third marriages often don’t work because we don’t change and keep making the same mistakes again and again.
If you are considering remarriage, here are the top six mistakes you shouldn’t repeat if you plan to get married again.
1. Not Getting a Prenup
Once you have been through a divorce, you would know exactly how ugly it gets when you have to divide assets. The idea of going through that again is likely to make you rethink remarriage.
Even if you feel iffy about prenups, you must remember that 50% of all marriages in the United States end in divorce.
The traditional laws of marriage in the States can be limiting to both partners, especially when it comes to assets, rights, and inheritance.
Whether you live in Arizona City or Atlanta, you should stay prepared. This is why local law firms across the country provide prenup services. For example, you can easily find an Atlanta Prenup Lawyer if you live in the city.
People getting married a second or third time might have children from a previous marriage. So, having a prenup can ensure that your children get what is rightfully theirs.
People use prenups to set some ground rules. You can set the terms for any aspect of your marriage – anything from money to limitations within the relationship.
2. Create Your Own Happiness
Don’t expect your partner to make you happy. This is one of the biggest mistakes people make in any relationship.
If you are depending on your partner to make you happy, you will never be happy. You need to realize that there is a difference between a happy relationship and an overly dependent one. A relationship should make you happy but it should never be the only source of your happiness.
When we depend on our partners for happiness, we attach unexpected and often unfair expectations to them. This puts pressure on your partner and also leads to hurt feelings, accusations, and fights.
Once you start creating your happiness, your partner becomes a plus to your life. You become independent with your emotions and don’t bring negative expectations into the relationship.
However, make sure you don’t settle for less. For your relationship to sustain you have to give and receive equally. If someone is not returning your love the way you give it, that relationship is unlikely to last.
3. Communicate More
Communication is the key to any long and happy marriage. If you tend to suppress your thoughts and feelings, your partner will be clueless. Not everyone has the natural intuition to know and understand your needs. So, you must communicate and tell your partner how you feel about things.
Find time to talk to each other, even if it is just a few minutes of sharing how your day went. Discuss problems and maybe they can help you find solutions. If not, they can at least be a sympathetic ear who listens to your everyday struggles.
But, don’t limit communication to just verbal interaction. Physical intimacy is also a crucial mode of communication.
Your partner may not be good at expressing themselves with words. In such cases, they might be more comfortable communicating through physical touch. Whether through hugs or more intimate interactions, you should always try to communicate as much as possible.
4. Cut Down the Assumptions
Starting a new life after divorce is difficult for men and women alike. Divorce tends to make it hard for you to trust people, especially if it stems from infidelity. Such trauma can make people more doubtful and presumptuous.
When we assume, we might make baseless assumptions. This can lead to more hard feelings. Even if it is difficult, try not to assume things. If you are not sure about something, just ask. Asking can solve so many problems.
Instead of assuming, tell your partner that you are expecting something. Telling them what you want or don’t want can help solve many petty issues.
5. Be Yourself From the Beginning
If you have been divorced before, it can give you more reasons to feel insecure. Feeling insecure can lead you to do things that are not true to who you are.
If you feel like you have to put up a front to appear more fun or interesting, it can lead you to build a fake persona. What starts with a mild social experiment can lead to a more serious relationship.
If you acted like someone else before you got married and your partner later finds out that you were being fake, your marriage will be a disaster.
Remember that whatever fake persona you build, you won’t be able to keep it up for the rest of your life. Trying to keep up this identity will give you added stress and lead to more happiness. Be yourself from the beginning. Even before getting married, try to always show your real self.
6. Avoid Manipulation
Manipulative behavior is poisonous for any relationship. If you have been manipulative in your last marriage, you should discard that bad habit before getting into a new one.
Manipulation can be a huge problem in any connection. If you keep manipulating your partner to get things done how you want, they will understand and become fed up at some point.
Being manipulative might be a reason why your last marriage failed. Don’t make the same mistakes again. If you notice such a behavioral pattern in yourself, work on it. Also, before considering remarriage, make sure that your partner is also not manipulative!
Bottomline
Remarrying is another chance to have a fulfilling life, try not to mess it up. When considering remarriage, remember not to make these six mistakes you shouldn’t repeat. Communicate more in your new relationship and don’t manipulate your partner. Make sure you get a prenup so that you stay prepared in case things become difficult. Be yourself and create your own happiness. If you take charge of your life, you will be able to nurture your new marriage.
