One of the hardest parts of being a man is that many of you really aren’t inclined towards cooking (or cooking well, anyhow). And you know what? That’s okay. We’re here for you for your entire journey towards becoming a finished man. While we may not do a lot of recipe based stuff, we discovered the best man-cooking YouTube channel ever and we’re bringing it to you: How To Basic. You’ll learn all sorts of useful cooking skills, like how to properly prepare a chicken, how to put milk in your tea, how to make a creamy squash soup, and more. These detailed, expertly thought out videos are definitely all about “how to” cooking and definitely not just some guy smashing eggs and throwing food all over his house. We wouldn’t do that to you. (Yes, we would- smash EVERYTHING after the jump.)
How To Basic: Learn to Cook Learn to Master Comedic Timing and Smush Eggs into Everything
I have absolutely no idea why I find these videos so completely hilarious, but I’ve watched most of them over and over and they never fail to have me howling. There’s a good chance it’s because I have a terrible sense of humor, but I know for sure that a large part of it is that it will make fellow UM writer Chad very, very angry and uncomfortable. Other than that, it has to be some strange combination of escalating out of control smashing, egg crushing, throwing, spilling, and smushing things with your bare hands. I actually feel like that is the most important step in each instructional video. How can you understand the intricacies of creating culinary delights when you aren’t in touch with your ingredients? And by touch, I mean fisting them into an unrecognizable pulp on your bathroom counter.
First up: how to make a delicious salad. When making a salad, I’ve learned that the most important step is tenderly petting your carrot.
Lasagna is always very impressive when made from scratch. I personally think that making it in the bathroom shows a lot of foresight on the cook’s part- wouldn’t want to stain anything with tomato sauce.
What I really love is the time this guy takes in writing his video descriptions and choosing his teaser photos- perfect, magazine quality shots. He’s a brilliant troll; he carefully thinks up exactly what normal humans would look search for, and then does… well, this. For example:
Today I show you how to make a Pizza. I find that this technique is Quick, Easy and creates the least amount of mess! Perfect for when you want to make a pizza, but you don’t have much time to spare!
It’s got over one million views, so you know it’s working. Every pizza night, somewhere, a confused and frustrated housewife looks on in horror as her dreams of learning to bake her family the perfect pizza are smashed into fragments like so many unnecessary eggs.
My personal favorite, however, would have to be how to cook a chicken properly. This is a daunting task for any man, and for many women as well. Why would you want a store bought roast chicken, when you could prepare a nutritious and delicious meal all by yourself, and gain this valuable experience?
As much as I’d like to, I can’t link every video, so you’ll have to watch them yourself- save it for the next time you’re hungry and it will probably fix that whole appetite issue. I leave you with some of the stunningly delicious looking results for your consideration.
Find How To Basic on YouTube for 137 videos on how to make your life a little more finished.
