HELL NO! – A Realistic Horror Movie with Sensible Characters

I don’t know about you, but I never really liked horror movies.

Do you ever find yourself feeling embarrassed for the fictional characters when you’re watching a movie? Yeah… that’s how I feel every time I watch a horror movie. You see, it’s not that I’m scared for the characters, it’s that they just seem appallingly stupid. I realize that almost every movie requires a certain suspension of disbelief, but horror movies really take it to a whole other level.

Should I go it alone into this spooky fucking house in the middle of the night? Absolutely!

Hey, a murderer is chasing us, let’s split up!

Somehow I don’t think people would actually act this way in real life (or even most other movie genres) and it turns out that someone else agrees with me on this one.

Finally, a Sensible Horror Movie

I left this sitting in my inbox for a few days because frankly, I wasn’t sure that it would be very funny. It turns out I was wrong. In fact, it turns out that I was very, very wrong. The team that came up with this also made The Matrix Retold by Mom, which is one of my favorite clips in the last 6 months.

Watch that first, and then check this out…

YouTube player

What did you think of that? Pretty accurate if you ask me, especially the spooky cabin in the woods. If I arrived at a place like that, I would get the fuck out of there immediately. I’ve already stayed in housing like that in Egypt thank you very much.

Now, about 30 seconds after ranting about horror movies, I realized something: I actually enjoy the Alien(s) movies!

ripley in aliens
Ripley ain’t playin’

They’re a mix of horror and science fiction, but you know what? The characters aren’t all complete morons. I mean sure, they get their shit fucked up badly as the movies progress, but still… they seem at least vaguely competent.

What do you think?

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Chad

Chad is the co-founder of Unfinished Man, a leading men's lifestyle site. He provides straightforward advice on fashion, tech, and relationships based on his own experiences and product tests. Chad's relaxed flair makes him the site's accessible expert for savvy young professionals seeking trustworthy recommendations on living well.

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