It’s okay to admit that you’re not good at dates. Most people, at some point or another, are not as successful as they would like to be with dating. The concept of spending time with someone, gleaning out personalities, wants and the like isn’t simple for everyone. It’s not always something that has an easy solution. You need to take various factors into account. With this article, we’ll be doing just that. We’ll be talking about not only how to date better but how to make the dates that better fit you. We’re going to assume, for this article, that you already know how to look the part. Let’s move onto the deeper stuff. Successful dates are about both methods and preparation. Not to mention finding the dates in the first place. Time to dive in.
Look at why you want to date
There is nothing that leads to date breakdown more than a difference of intentions. Nothing that can more easily ruin a perfectly good time as not communicating those intentions. Of course, it’s not about always being blunt and outright about it. There’s a certain code we develop for the reasons we date. Being firm on finding a relationship will highlight that. Being more casual sends a different message, particularly using that word. There are a lot of women looking for the same thing from a date as you are. You’re only going to find them if you know why exactly you’re dating and you look for it in the right places.
Where you find your dates
Where you find your dates plays a huge role in what you should be able to expect from it. Not quite as much as what the lady and you communicate, but huge nonetheless. For example, if you have a real life meetcute (which rarely happen) or meet someone at a bar or a party. In these situations, be careful. It’s never safe to assume that someone might be looking for the same see-where-it-goes, sexual experience.
Some of the better places to meet, if you have a specific intention in mind, is online. There are sites and apps these days that tend to cater to all kinds of date set-ups. Match.com might be the place to meet a girl to keep, for example, whereas Tinder can lead to all kinds of casual set-ups.
When and how to seduce
There’s a lot of talk these days about the methods that it takes to seduce women. A lot of advice and particular routes to go down in your interactions. A lot of these are valid, but some of them miss a couple key points. For one, you need to know when seduction is the right tactic. Being out of place with it will shut those doors faster than you can blink. The how is about what lies at the spirit of seduction. The image you give off and the message beneath the actions. You can learn more at Efficacious Seduction and similar sites on not only how to seduce, but why that method works.
What women want in a man
Part of understanding why you do what you do, whether you want to seduce a girl or have her fall in love with you, is wants. Particularly, what women want from a man. Naturally, there a broad spectrum of answers. That said, it’s not impossible to divine the right ones. Humans have a (mostly) common set of motivations.
When it comes to having dates, it’s easier to narrow those down. Intelligence is a key, but mostly if it’s used right. No-one likes a show-off. Women do like, however, men who show intelligence in manoeuvring a conversation and being astute. Making observations that are flattering or, at least, friendly. Confidence is another key, but one that can easily be relied on too much. If you’re getting cocky, a lot of women will let you know.
Getting intimate
Don’t get too excited. Getting women into bed might be the goal of many a date, but that act itself is the subject of plenty other articles here. Rather, we’re talking about getting mentally or emotionally intimate. For some with intentions that are heading mostly towards that bedroom, this is still important. You want to establish some kind of familiarity and comfort. If you’re looking for more than a romp, that intimacy can very well be the start of something deeper. One of the best methods, hands down, is questioning her. Not questions that can get one word answers. Rather, questions that demand creative answers. Hypotheticals. Memories. Delve into her mind and be open to the same. It’s as powerful an aphrodisiac as it is a romancing tool.
The places you’ll go
Setting the right environment is just as important as what you do with the date. Location matters on that front as much as motivation. Contrary to popular belief, movies aren’t always the best place for first dates. You want to be spending the time to get to know her.
If you’re looking to woo and romance, then even the standard dinner setting can be a bad selection. If you’re both a little looser and more fun-seeking in your expectations, think of other places. Comedy clubs, for example, are great. Nothing builds a rapport quite as well as shared laughter.
The follow-up
If you’re not after a one-night stand, the success of a date often comes into how the follow-up goes. It’s a tenuous situation for a lot of people, re-opening communication. First, ask about a second date at the end of the first. Not shyly, either. Rejection doesn’t come any easier if you’re not committed to the question. Be bold. Text her the next day, even if it’s just to check that she got home fine and tell her you had a great time. Just as importantly, don’t force the issue of sex. There are some tells you should be very open to seeing as to when to broach that subject. Doing it too early could kill your chances entirely.
