There is this old bar joke of a woman complaining about double standards with sexual exploits. If you are a woman and you have had multiple relations with different men, you get names like floozy or a nymphomaniac. If a man does the exact same thing, they are heralded as a hero – a conqueror of unknown lands. The man responds to the woman complaining by saying, if a key can open multiple different locks it is a masterful tool. If multiple different keys can open a lock, then the lock is worthless.
Alas, men and women each have their own double standards and perceptions. Some go in favor of the men’s side, other times they tip towards the women’s arguments. But what is it about sex that makes people so defensive and over-calculating?
The Psychology of Sex
When it comes to sex, a lot of topics are hush-hush – especially in certain communities and homes. Upbringing is a major contributing factor, along with religious beliefs and certain psychological profiles. Whatever the source, there is always one seemingly constant variable – judgment.
Yes, people like judging other people. When it comes to sex habits and actions, the judging amplifies immensely. Everyone has an opinion, but who has to say who is in the right and who is in the wrong?
An example of clashing perceptions between the sexes is the existence of sex toys.
Spicing Things Up
The idea of sex shops for instance bares a very unflattering light among the society. People who go to these establishments often get the label of perverts or sex addicts. A lot of people who would rather stay out of this unflattering light tend to go to the anonymity provided by online websites. Yes, sex shops for men and women are doing surprisingly well. They offer a relief to a primal need that society seems too preoccupied in patrolling.
Men’s sex toys act the same way as the women’s versions. Yet they are perceived in entirely different ways. For the most part, a single woman owning a sex toy gives off a vibe of someone who is liberated and independent. A single man on the other hand with a sex toy comes off as an inept beta who cannot (or will not) go out into the dating world to get the ‘real thing’. It seems rather arbitrary, does it not? Who gets to experience pleasure from artificial items and who cannot?
A New Age Dawning
On the bright side of things, society began to be a bit more open about sex in recent years. People are becoming more vocal about it, and suddenly that taboo secret discussion kept in closed doors now seek its time in the open. The internet for the most part helped ease the transition with online forums and chats among people of same age groups.
What was once a secret kept between two married people now receive open discussion even in schools for better understanding of teens. This helped create a more aware society. One where topics such as pregnancies, STDs, and even sex toys are talked about in hopes of promoting better understanding for everyone involved.
