Everyone knows the phrase “life isn’t fair”, and it’s one that may come to mind when you’re using an online dating app. Many apps have more men than women, but somehow it’s the women that seem to be getting all the attention. This means that if you’re a guy on a dating app you’ll have a ton of competition, which certainly doesn’t help. It’s common for the average girl to get dozens of messages per day, especially if they’re exceptionally attractive. But here’s some good news: it’s actually pretty easy for guys to stand out from the pack. This is because 90% of those messages are just inane greetings or lame pick-up lines. If a woman gets 15 messages per day that are just a variation of “hey what’s up”, there’s no chance that she’s going to see one of them and say “this is the man for me”.
So what can men do to get a woman’s attention on a dating app? Video chat sites like Chatrandom make it easy to meet people for online dates and more, but you need some solid strategies in order to kickstart the relationship. As it happens, that’s exactly what you’ll find below.
Get your profile picture right
Believe it or not, a study done by OkCupid showed that men who weren’t smiling in their primary photos were more likely to get a response than the men who were. What’s that all about? It’s hard to say, but here’s what to do instead. Rather than staring down the camera like you’re trying to be an Italian supermodel, look off in the distance like you’ve just seen something intriguing. Of course, it needs to look effortless and natural too; the main thing is to show off your natural charm.
Show, don’t tell
Your profile picture is important, but what will women see when they’re checking out your other pictures? There are all kinds of tips on how to select pictures for a dating profile – make sure people know you have friends, show recent photos, etc. What you also need to prioritize, though, is proving that you’re a cool person with an interesting life. Think of it as the photo version of writing a resume: you’re talking yourself up in order to convince someone else to give you a chance.
Put in some travel pictures, show yourself dressed up for a work event (provided it involves something a little classier than a McDonald’s uniform), include a picture with pets or other animals, and maybe show off your favorite hobby if it’s something that would make you look creative and capable. You get the point – this is your chance to knock her socks off without saying a word.
Read her profile
A woman’s profile photo is going to be the thing that gets your attention, but that doesn’t mean you should immediately message her without learning more – you’ll just be shooting yourself in the foot, like most of the guys she hears from. Give her profile a once-over and find out more. Is she looking for a friend with benefits, a one-night stand, or a long-term romance? Does she prefer outdoorsy guys, or does she usually go for intellectual types? You should represent yourself truthfully, of course, but there are also plenty of ways to make yourself more appealing to someone. You just have to know what they find appealing first!
Don’t tell her she’s hot
If the girl you’re messaging is anything close to attractive, she’ll have heard the same thing a thousand times: “hey girl, looking good”. You might as well tell her that water is wet; it’s practically meaningless to her at that point. Instead, peruse her profile and find something that you think is unique about her. This not only gives you something sincere to say, but it also proves to her that you’re interested in more than just a hot profile photo.
Don’t start with an insult
Pickup artists have been trying to convince men for years that girls want to be challenged, not caressed. They say that if you strike up a conversation with an insult instead of a compliment, you’ll get her to engage, and then you’re winning. Unfortunately, being told to go kick rocks is not actually winning. Besides, that usually only works with insecure women, so unless that’s what you want, this strategy really isn’t the best idea.
An experienced dating coach will tell you that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Sure, there’s a little more to getting a woman’s attention than paying her compliments, but that’ll get you a lot further than insulting her.
Stand out with an unusual message
The idea here is to set yourself apart; you don’t necessarily have to demonstrate the full range of your personality, intelligence, or charisma in a single line. Remember, the bar is already pretty low. As long as you avoid “hey girl” and “you look hot”, you’re already way ahead of the curve.
You could say something witty about her profile, start out with a tongue-in-cheek recommendation of your own personal merits, or just come up with something unexpected and offbeat. You never know what will catch her attention, but at the very least you’ll need to be different from everybody else.
Suggest concrete plans
Some people think that the online dating process has outgrown the days of drawn-out conversations and virtual relationship-building. If you want to make something happen, make some actual plans, then send her the details and tell her she’s invited. Don’t get pushy or act like she’s obligated to come; just tell her that the offer’s there. And by the way, it wouldn’t hurt if you made it interesting.
Will these tips change the way you approach women on dating apps?
You can’t change the amount of attention that girls get on dating apps, but you can certainly make sure that you’re at the top of their list. Try out some of the strategies above and see what happens; after all, what is there to lose?
