Dating women online is part art, part skill. Some people take to it naturally, but other people aren’t great at it at first. The thing is, like any other skill, it can be improved with time, as you gain experience and knowledge. Now that online dating is a common part of our culture, there are some important rules of etiquette to consider. If you are striking out, maybe it’s time to improve your tactics in this fascinating and evolving culture. You’ll get more dates.
First of all, present yourself like you’ve got your shit together. If you do this right, your shit will be more together than ever before, and in real life, not pretend. To do this, you’ve got to, first, have a quality profile image that communicates what you wish to communicate. There are many kinds of dating websites, some squeaky clean like Hily, and others made for adults and their unspeakable urges. You have to know where your dating site stands on this matter. Then you’ve got to create a picture that works for what you’re trying to achieve, relative to the sites broader culture.
In most cases, you want your main profile picture to be one of your face, or of your face and enough of your body to communicate that you’re unspeakably attractive in more ways than one. Make this picture a good one, taken with a quality camera. Don’t just snap a quick selfie with your iPhone. Get a friend to get the shot. Make it look natural and confident, unless you want to cultivate a more pouty/sexy/frightened/whatever image. In most cases, natural and confident work best and will make the broadest range of people consider dating you. It can be a very unnatural process to trying to achieve a natural looking photo, but take time and consider the lighting. If it’s great, your image will stand out of the crowd.
Take the same approach to the written portions of your profile. But don’t overdo it. Keep your writing succinct and honest, but in a positive way. There are plenty of people who are “honest” in a TMI kind of way, and this can be a turnoff to a lot of people. This is not the place for self-deprecation, though you don’t want to come off as pompous either. Look at the profiles of those that you find the most attractive and datable. Consider the writing style they employ. Don’t mimic it note for note, but try to write in a way that represents you as your best self. Don’t ever bum people out. Don’t whine. Don’t talk about your favorite internet conspiracy. Keep it simple and you’ll do pretty well.
Finally, communicate promptly. If someone messages you, get back to them. Even if you don’t want to date them, give them contact within a few hours of their having contacted you. It’s bad karma to leave people hanging. And good communication will actually contribute to your confidence, which will only make you more successful over time.
