On the surface, it can seem like the skills it takes to succeed in business and the qualities it takes to find love are polar opposites. We tend to think of CEOs as being highly ambitious and competitive, which doesn’t lend itself well to dating.
However, that stereotypical image couldn’t be further from reality. People who have a passion for what they do and who pour their heart and soul into their work tend to do the same in their personal lives. In fact, there is much that the entrepreneurial journey can teach us about finding love and vice versa. While it may seem counterintuitive, bringing a business mindset to matters of the heart can actually be very beneficial. In today’s ever-evolving dating world, where curating profiles on different apps can begin to feel like a full-time job, a more strategic approach to dating can save time and energy and result in more fulfilling and long-lasting relationships.
“Attempting to date more strategically and efficiently doesn’t take the human element out of dating–far from it,” says Barbie Adler, Founder and President of Selective Search, a premier luxury matchmaking firm with an 87% success rate. “Being intentional about how you approach dating is more respectful of your own time, as well as your date’s, and it increases your chances of finding a well-matched relationship. When you become the boss of your own dating life, you give yourself the resources you need to truly thrive.”
Following are Barbie Adler’s tips for dating like a CEO:
Be selective.
For a business to work well, everyone must be on the same page. The world’s most lauded companies always have clear core values and a strong central mission, which they use to guide exceptional performance. Executive search professionals understand this, which is why they always look beyond the résumé when scoping out potential candidates.
This is an invaluable skill in the dating world. A person’s dating app profile never tells the whole story: there is always more than meets the eye, and being able to recognize and appreciate a person’s skills and values is essential to building strong partnerships.
“Being selective does not mean being picky—it means being strategic,” explains Adler. “It means knowing what you want and refusing to compromise on your values. It helps ensure that you will find someone who truly shares and supports your vision for life rather than someone who is only interested in the surface.”
Cultivate a growth mindset.
In dating, as in building a business, some setbacks are inevitable. Dating and relationships are not easy, but just as in building a business, tenacity eventually conquers all. Keeping an optimistic outlook and remaining emotionally open to future opportunities can help anyone weather stormy times.
Entrepreneurs know better than most people what it means to turn setbacks into possible opportunities for growth. CEOs do not wallow in past mistakes but use them as tools to build a better future. Bringing this mindset to the dating world can be a major asset, as the inability to let go of the past can be a primary contributor to ongoing relationship issues.
Know how to outsource.
The great secret of all self-made business leaders is that they are also highly effective at delegating tasks. No one person knows or can do everything, and understanding when and how to divide up tasks between people is an extremely valuable skill in itself. It is often what sets the best entrepreneurs apart from the rest.
It may seem strange to talk about outsourcing your love life, but it is actually a highly effective strategy. Relationship professionals such as matchmakers come equipped with expert knowledge and connections that can save you time while guaranteeing better results.
“Entrepreneurs know that having others contribute to an overall goal adds a richness that can’t be replicated by going it alone. In business and in life, recognizing the value of outside expertise can catapult you to success,” says Adler. “If you want your taxes done right, you hire an accountant. If you want to get the most out of your workout, you hire a personal trainer. I’ve seen the amazing relationships that develop when that same principle is applied to dating.”
Manage your time.
In order to sustain success, entrepreneurs put effort into cultivating an effective work-life balance. Doing so takes planning, coordination, and a willingness to set aside time to put yourself first. CEOs are highly driven and passionate people and much of the time, they need to consciously schedule breaks and time off.
When it comes to finding love, managing and respecting your own time is highly important. With the proliferation of dating apps, many find that curating and managing numerous profiles can start to feel like another job. To avoid burning out—and to be able to be your best self on dates—it’s important to date with intention.
“Time is your most valuable resource, and, as with any other investment, you want to be strategic in how you use it,” says Adler. “It’s not only a matter of self-respect and self-care, but also respect for those you’re dating. Setting aside time to devote yourself to relationships with real, lasting potential will help you get the most out of those dates.”
At the end of the day, business is all about relationships. The skill sets prized by CEOs are not just recipes for success in the corporate world but have broad applications in all areas of life. Applying an executive’s mindset to matters of the heart can help you truly take control of your love life and create the match of your dreams.
