This one concerns a topic that’s as old as the hills.
Not much of an opening line is it? But that’s the point here. When things are too familiar and predictable it’s not that easy to get excited by them.
So let’s talk about sex.
That’s a bit more like it isn’t it?
The thing is though, once you’ve been in a relationship for a while ‘sex’ starts to mean something different. It can all-too easily start to slip into that ‘familiar and predictable’ bracket. That presumably that was not what you signed up for when you set about the first energetic flush of your partnership. Those were the days eh?
First things first – it’s not just you. You may be surprised to learn that this isn’t the first ever article to address the question of how you can go about rekindling the passion that you and your lady used to generate. In truth, it is a bit of a cliché, but the baseline for this is that women don’t think about relationships the same way we do. They just don’t.
So this is passion point number one. Don’t get grumpy. As I have been told numerous times, demanding a gymnastic performance in fancy dress on the basis that you’ve got some sort of contractual right to it is a turn off. Apparently, it is about as erotic as Joda in a jockstrap.
OK, so we’re a step further on from just sulking and demanding. Good work. We’ve made it to level two.
The killer line from level two is ‘lose your lazy head’ (cliché alert): Go the extra mile; give it your best shot; deliver service with a smile; you reap what you sow…
I’m trying hard to be euphemistic here, but let’s put it like this: If you were driving your other half somewhere you wouldn’t make her get out and walk the last bit of the journey would you? That said, what you think the destination is may not be what she thinks it is – like I say, they don’t think like we do. Just ask the question.
Hey – that brings up level three. You’re good!
All of that oral equipment you have at the front of your head, you can also use that to talk about what women call ‘emotions’. This is a bit of a secret, and I shouldn’t really be telling you, but women love it when a guy starts to open up about his feelings (it doesn’t really matter if you don’t actually have any, you can make some up). The way to sell it to yourself is to view it as the emotional equivalent of that gymnastic display in fancy dress. They want to see you doing expressive cartwheels just so they can catch a glimpse of your sensitive side. Try it – it’s almost as seductive as Jedi mind control.
Ok. Level four. This is heady stuff now.
This is close to the absolute clincher. Pull this one off and you’re guaranteed to have passion on a plate 24/7. OK – maybe not 24/7 and maybe it’s not a cast iron guarantee, but it won’t do any harm. Look, we’ve known each other for nearly 600 words now, and to be honest I’m banking on your expectations slipping to the point where you might cut me a little slack.
Aha! And there you have it! That’s it in a nutshell. That’s the secret right there. It’s staring you in the face. It’s about handling familiarity.
If you’ve been sharing a laundry basket with someone for the last 12 months, you’ll be thinking that there isn’t much you don’t know about each other. Physically, emotionally, intellectually and possibly even gymnastically, you’ll have a pretty fixed idea about what each of you is bringing to the party.
But here’s the rub. Everything is changing all the time. Your relationship is not the same as it was when you met because you’re different people now. It’s’ not as surprising and as stimulating as it was in your honeymoon phase because there isn’t the same joy of something new and undiscovered. But as time passes we all change. And being part of a couple is changing all the time too.
So the revolutionary thought I want to leave you with is about embracing change. Look for subtle shifts in your partner’s looks, behavior, appetite or interests and celebrate them. Celebrate them like you have never celebrated anything before. And embrace change – even if it does mean dressing up and doing handstands every now and then. Embrace change, and the force will be with you!
