Macho Like Me – How Men Communicate

I had the pleasure of taking in a live performance of “Macho Like Me” and if you live in LA, I highly recommend you check it out or buy the DVD.  In this one woman show, Helie Lee shares her experience of living 6 months as a man.  It’s very well done, so I won’t steal her thunder, but this provides a great launching point for a further discussion of gender roles and how men communicate.

For many of the reasons Helie hates being a man…I love being a man.  Men make fun of each other or talk trash as a way of letting each other know that “you are one of us”.  If you’re not being given a little grief by your guy friends, then they really don’t like you that much.   Men are sarcastic and love to exploit any sign of weakness in another man as a means of comedic roasting.  Guys get this, as it is almost innate and reminds us to not take ourselves so seriously.

Generally speaking, women do tend to be more nurturing and openly emotional with their girlfriends.  However, men are very supportive of each other when we sense (as men) that our friends really need it.  We don’t just throw emotion around like Brett Favre retirement announcements.  Said support becomes more meaningful by definition when it is provided uniquely for a friend in a pinch, and usually takes the form of direct action to help.  We men encourage each other to be strong, but are more than happy to be the John Stockton to our buddy’s Karl Malone when needed.

I like that men, underlying everything, are compelled to be self sufficient.  We push each other to be so, but also revel in the ability to share a skill or tip that can help a friend in need out.  We leap at an opportunity to show how effective and strong we are and we love adding value;  that is kind of our thing.  We see a challenge as an opportunity to solve a problem.  We are fixers by nature and seek out opportunities to be part of a solution.  Authors note: I know, a little Men Are From Earth Women Are From Marsy, but it doesn’t preclude it from being a viable point.

Guys interact in a very straightforward, direct manner.  We mostly talk about sports, women and just simply enjoying life.  Generally we don’t like long conversations or excessive verbiage to convey simple thoughts and revel in hanging out with other guys who can just be. I’ve had friendgirls (my term for women that are friends that I’m not currently sleeping with) admit that they just like talking for the sake of talking/sharing/connecting and men simply don’t operate that way.

Women may witness me and my buddies on the volleyball court and say “man, you guys are so mean to each other”.  However, this trash talking is simply a way for us to cement our friendship.  It’s just part of being a man and I’m betting most men would tell you they wouldn’t have it any other way.