My Journey to Polyamory: How I Learned to Accept My Wife’s Boyfriend

Navigating relationships can be complex, and in a world where non-monogamous relationships are becoming more prevalent, we might find ourselves facing unique challenges. One such challenge is accepting your wife’s boyfriend – a situation that may seem daunting at first.

This journey of understanding and embracing polyamory has not only enriched my life but also strengthened the bond I share with my partner. So join me as I unveil why I embraced this lifestyle and what steps I took to overcome any obstacles along the way. Let’s explore together how loving without limits can transform our lives!

Understanding Non-Monogamous Relationships

Understanding non-monogamous relationships requires defining polyamory and dispelling common misconceptions, recognizing the benefits and challenges of such relationships, and communicating openly with your partner to better understand their needs.

Defining Polyamory And Its Misconceptions

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Polyamory, as a concept, can often be misunderstood or misinterpreted – particularly by those unfamiliar with it or entrenched in more traditional monogamous relationships. Simply put, polyamory is the practice of being involved in multiple romantic relationships simultaneously, but always under the premise of open communication and consent from all parties involved. While this may seem like an alien idea to beta men and others comfortable exclusively within monogamy’s confines, understanding polyamory involves debunking some common misconceptions surrounding this lifestyle.

One misconception about polyamory is that it’s just an excuse for promiscuity or infidelity. This assumption couldn’t be further from the truth; in fact, transparency and trust are cornerstones for maintaining healthy non-monogamous relationships. Another widespread myth is that people who choose this way of life are incapable of committing to one person or forming deep emotional connections with their partners. In reality, most polyamorous individuals maintain strong bonds with each partner while appreciating different aspects of their personalities and sharing unique experiences together. For example, one partner might offer emotional support during tough times while another brings laughter when needed most – clearly illustrating that there is so much more to these relationships than meets the eye at first glance. Overall, destigmatizing alternative relationship dynamics begins by addressing uninformed judgments founded on societal norms rather than accurate understandings.

The Benefits And Challenges Of Non-Monogamous Relationships

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Entering a non-monogamous relationship can be a rewarding experience, presenting numerous benefits to all parties involved. For instance, these relationships often foster open communication and trust among partners, ultimately promoting emotional intimacy and satisfaction. Non-monogamy also allows for exploring diverse connections with multiple individuals who can provide different forms of support and companionship in your life.

However, there are challenges that come with this unconventional relationship structure. Jealousy is an obstacle that many face when confronted with their partner’s additional romantic or intimate connections. Navigating insecurity around one’s position in the relationship can be tough but necessary when building trust between all members involved. Additionally, establishing clear boundaries—like determining what information should be shared between partners or setting limits on time spent together—is crucial for maintaining harmony in non-monogamous relationships.

One example of overcoming jealousy is befriending one’s wife’s boyfriend – spending quality time together and recognizing him as a unique individual rather than just another label (e.g., “the other man”). By getting to know your partner’s other significant connections, it becomes easier to accept them as part of your collective journey toward personal growth and fulfillment. Remember that while being part of this type of relationship presents its challenges – such as managing emotions about sharing our loved ones – it also offers valuable lessons in love without limits that expand our perspectives on human connection possibilities beyond traditional norms.

Communicating And Understanding Your Partner’s Needs

Communicating and understanding your partner’s needs is crucial in any relationship but particularly important in non-monogamous relationships. It requires open and honest conversations about desires, boundaries, and expectations. When exploring polyamory or having a wife with a boyfriend, it’s essential to communicate regularly with both partners so that everyone can feel heard and understood.

For instance, you might express concerns over time allocation or attention while sharing more of yourself emotionally with them. Your partner may require other forms of affection than what you’re comfortable providing or have different sexual desires. To avoid conflicts or misunderstandings that can threaten the relationship’s success for all parties involved, take the time to listen actively without judgment.

It can be tempting to assume that one person knows best what their partners require from their multiple relationships – this is an attitude fraught with pitfalls. Instead of guessing what someone else wants from intimacy/the relationship/scheduling/etc., ask questions that help clarify those things succinctly for everyone concerned by frequently checking in and respecting each other’s choices despite how difficult/different they are.

My Personal Journey To Accepting My Wife’s Boyfriend

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In overcoming jealousy and insecurity, I got to know my wife’s partner and set clear boundaries and expectations in our non-monogamous relationship.

Overcoming Jealousy And Insecurity

Overcoming jealousy and insecurity can be a daunting task, especially when it comes to non-monogamous relationships. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are normal and valid, but they don’t have to control your relationship. One way to address jealousy is through open and honest communication with your partner(s). Expressing your concerns and fears can lead to understanding rather than resentment.

Another helpful strategy is identifying the root cause of your jealousy or insecurity. This may require some self-reflection and critical thinking, as oftentimes, our insecurities stem from past experiences or societal norms. By recognizing these underlying factors, you can begin to take steps toward addressing them head-on. For example, if you feel jealous of your wife’s boyfriend because you think he’s “better” in some way, remind yourself that comparisons are not productive or fair. Instead, focus on building trust and intimacy within your own relationship with her.

It’s also important to establish clear boundaries with all parties involved in the non-monogamous relationship. This ensures everyone is aware of what is acceptable behavior and what crosses a line for each individual involved. These boundaries should be revisited regularly as needs or preferences change over time. In navigating these complex dynamics, remember that vulnerability is key – allowing yourself to express emotions without fear of judgment fosters deeper connections with those around us.

Getting To Know My Wife’s Partner

Getting to know my wife’s partner was initially a daunting prospect. However, I soon realized that it was important for me to establish a relationship with him in order to foster trust and understanding within our non-monogamous dynamic. I started by communicating openly with my wife about my feelings and concerns before scheduling a meeting with her partner.

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During our first meeting, we talked about our shared interests and hobbies, which helped us find common ground. As we spent more time together, I learned to appreciate his unique qualities and the positive impact he had on my wife’s life. We even became friends over time, which made navigating our polyamorous relationship easier.

Overall, getting to know my wife’s partner allowed me to overcome jealousy and insecurity while building stronger connections within our non-monogamous community. It also taught me the importance of embracing diversity in relationships and stepping out of one’s comfort zone in order to grow as an individual.

Setting Boundaries And Expectations

Before accepting my wife’s boyfriend, I had to set clear boundaries and expectations to ensure that our relationship remained respectful and strong. Here are some tips for beta men navigating a similar situation:

  1. Make sure all parties involved are in agreement. Communication is key here, and everyone should be aware of what the boundaries and expectations are.
  2. Identify and prioritize your needs as well as those of your partner and their other partner. This includes emotional, physical, and logistical needs.
  3. Be specific about what is allowed or not allowed within the relationship dynamic, such as spending holidays together or having sexual encounters outside of the primary partnership.
  4. Regularly check in on how everyone is feeling and if any adjustments need to be made to the established boundaries.
  5. Remember that boundaries can evolve over time, so maintaining open communication is important for ongoing success in a non-monogamous relationship.

By setting these clear boundaries, it helped me navigate accepting my wife’s boyfriend while also strengthening our primary relationship.

The Importance Of Embracing Non-Monogamy

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Embracing non-monogamy can lead to a stronger primary relationship, expanded perspectives on love and connection, and building a supportive community.

Strengthening The Primary Relationship

One of the most important aspects of non-monogamous relationships is strengthening the primary relationship. This means that your relationship with your spouse or partner should always be a top priority, even when other romantic relationships are involved.

To accomplish this, clear communication and mutual respect are key. You need to listen to your partner’s needs and concerns, express your own desires and expectations clearly, and constantly check in with each other to ensure that you’re both on the same page.

It’s also important to establish boundaries early on in the process. These might include limits around how often your spouse sees their other partners or certain activities they do together. Whatever these boundaries may be, make sure they’re fair for everyone involved and consistently upheld. Remember that healthy relationships require compromise from both parties.

Expanding Perspectives On Love And Connection

Expanding your perspectives on love and connection is an essential part of embracing non-monogamy. It means opening yourself up to the idea that there are different ways to express love, intimacy, and commitment aside from traditional monogamy. This can be a big shift for some people who have grown up with the belief that romantic relationships should only involve two people.

When you expand your perspective, you allow yourself to explore other forms of connection that may better suit your needs and desires. For example, having multiple partners can provide more opportunities for personal growth, emotional support, and sexual fulfillment. By challenging societal norms around monogamous relationships, you might discover aspects of yourself or your relationship that you never knew existed.

However, expanding your perspective also requires critical thinking about what it means to be in a healthy relationship – regardless of its structure. It involves being honest with yourself about what you want and need from each relationship involved while establishing clear boundaries together with all parties involved. When done right, branching out from traditional monogamous ideas can lead to a richer understanding of love and stronger connections with those around us.

Building A Supportive Community

Building a supportive community is crucial for individuals who practice non-monogamy. Having like-minded people to rely on and share experiences with can be invaluable in navigating the ups and downs of non-monogamous relationships. Joining online communities or attending local events where non-monogamous individuals gather can help you feel less alone in your journey.

For example, connecting with other couples who also have open relationships or seeking advice from those who have successfully navigated similar situations can provide a sense of solidarity and support. Being able to openly discuss concerns, fears, and joys with others who understand your lifestyle can strengthen your relationship and provide valuable insight into how others approach their own partnerships.

In addition to finding support within the non-monogamous community, it’s also important to seek out allies in mainstream society. Educating family members, friends, coworkers, and even healthcare providers about polyamory or open relationships can go a long way in breaking down stigmas surrounding these lifestyles. Building a supportive network outside of the community helps create visibility for these types of relationships while providing additional resources for partners navigating an often misunderstood way of life.

To navigate accepting a partner’s other relationships, it is crucial to practice self-care and reflection, communicate openly and honestly with your partner, establish clear boundaries, and learn how to manage your emotions and feelings effectively.

Practicing Self-Care And Self-Reflection

As a beta man navigating a non-monogamous relationship, it’s critical to prioritize self-care and self-reflection. When your partner has other partners, it can be easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself or feeling like you’re not enough. But taking care of yourself is essential in order to nurture healthy relationships with all parties involved.

Practicing self-care might involve setting aside time for activities that make you feel good, such as exercise or meditation. It could also mean seeking therapy or counseling if needed. Self-reflection is equally important; take some time to think about your emotions and feelings before communicating with your partner or their other partners. By doing so, you’ll be able to approach conflicts more critically and minimize any potential harm caused by knee-jerk reactions.

Remember: practicing self-care and self-reflection isn’t just beneficial for you – it also strengthens the support system that surrounds your non-monogamous relationship.

Open And Honest Communication

Open and honest communication is crucial in any relationship but particularly essential when navigating non-monogamous relationships. It can be challenging to talk about one’s feelings of jealousy or insecurity without fear of judgment or rejection; however, suppressing these emotions leads to resentment and mistrust between partners. To establish open communication, it’s vital first to establish trust by listening actively, being non-judgmental, validating the feelings of both partners, and being respectful.

In the context of accepting a partner’s other relationships, it’s essential to communicate openly without blaming or shaming each other. Instead, couples should focus on understanding each other’s needs and desires without compromising their own values while setting clear boundaries and expectations for themselves and their partners. For example: my wife’s boyfriend was quite comfortable with hugs that lasted for more than fifteen seconds which I wasn’t comfortable with- we communicated this issue straightaway by asking him not to do so when he is around me. Communication like this helps avoid misunderstandings and builds a stronger bond among all parties involved in the relationship.

The ability to engage in open communication promotes growth as individuals within respective relationships; Critically analyzing the feedback received from your partner helps work through conflicts easier while gaining perspective into the situation also fosters mutual respect. The key takeaway here is effective solutions come from active listening during effective communication between partners in an Open Relationship – letting go of fears caused by romantic competition through honestly shared transparency such that everyone feels heard, allowing constructive dialogue possible!

Establishing Clear Boundaries

Establishing clear boundaries is crucial in any relationship, especially when navigating non-monogamous relationships. As a beta male, here are some tips for setting and maintaining boundaries with your partner’s other partners:

  1. Start by understanding your needs and limits: Take the time to identify what makes you comfortable or uncomfortable in terms of your partner’s interactions with their other partners. This will help you establish boundaries that work for you.
  2. Communicate your boundaries: Be open and honest with your partner about your boundaries from the start. Let them know what you are and are not okay with regarding their other relationships.
  3. Be specific: When communicating your boundaries, be specific about what behaviors or actions are not acceptable. Vague or general statements can leave room for misunderstanding.
  4. Listen to your partner’s feelings: While it’s important to communicate your own boundaries, it’s also important to listen to how your partner feels about them. Be willing to compromise and adjust if necessary.
  5. Revisit and revise regularly: Boundaries can evolve over time as relationships develop, so make sure you revisit them regularly to ensure they still feel appropriate and effective for both parties involved.

Remember, setting clear boundaries doesn’t mean being harsh or controlling – it simply means respecting yourself and your needs within the relationship while also respecting those of others involved.

Managing Emotions And Feelings

Managing emotions and feelings is a critical aspect of navigating the acceptance of a partner’s other relationships. It can be challenging to balance one’s own emotional needs with those of their partner and their partner’s other partners. One essential strategy for managing emotions is to practice open communication with your partner. This means discussing your feelings as they arise, even if they are difficult or uncomfortable.

Another helpful approach when managing emotions is to identify and express your own feelings before discussing them with your partner. Take some time to think about what you are feeling and why before initiating conversations with your partner. Additionally, it may be useful to seek out support from therapy or a supportive network of friends and family during this emotionally challenging time. Remember that clear communication, setting boundaries, and practicing self-care can help manage strong emotions effectively in non-monogamous relationships.

The Role Of Society And Normalizing Non-Monogamous Relationships

In this article, we delve into the importance of normalizing non-monogamous relationships in society and how it can promote diversity, inclusion, and respect for everyone’s relationship choices. Read on to learn more about accepting your partner’s other partners and building a supportive community.

Addressing Stigma And Discrimination

Consensual non-monogamy has been met with negative social stigma and discrimination, often being labeled as immoral or deviant. This stigma can create an unwelcoming environment for those who choose to engage in non-monogamous relationships. It is important to acknowledge and address this discrimination in order to promote acceptance and respect for all forms of consensual love.

Society’s perception of non-monogamy often stems from traditional cultural norms that emphasize monogamous relationships as the only acceptable form of love. However, with open communication, trust, and consent among all partners involved in a consensually non-monogamous relationship, it can be just as fulfilling and loving as a traditional monogamous one. By understanding these differences and respecting individual choices, we can move towards normalizing non-traditional forms of love.

It is crucial to challenge the stereotypes associated with consensual non-monogamy by educating others about its benefits – such as building trust through honest communication between partners – rather than perpetuating negativity around it. We must work together to eliminate the stigma towards alternative lifestyles so everyone feels safe expressing their unique desires without fear of judgment or rejection.

Educating Others On Acceptance And Respect

Educating others on acceptance and respect is crucial in promoting an understanding of non-monogamous relationships. It involves addressing the stigma and discrimination that often comes with being in such a relationship. One way to do this is by sharing your own experience and talking about the positive aspects of non-monogamy, emphasizing how it has strengthened your primary relationship, expanded your perspectives on love and connection, and built a supportive community.

Another important aspect of educating others is respecting other people’s choices when it comes to their relationships. Not everyone might agree or understand non-monogamy, but respecting their right to live as they choose is key to creating a more inclusive society. By doing so, we promote diversity and inclusion while encouraging others to have an open mind toward different types of relationships.

Overall, educating others on acceptance and respect requires critical thinking skills that help us navigate conflicts without threatening our relationships. As beta men committed to ethical non-monogamy, we can play a vital role in promoting openness towards diverse forms of loving connections.

Promoting Diversity And Inclusion

Promoting diversity and inclusion is an important aspect of normalizing non-monogamous relationships. By accepting and respecting all types of love, we can create a more accepting and open-minded society. This means challenging societal norms that prioritize monogamy and heteronormativity.

One way to promote diversity and inclusion in CNM relationships is by actively seeking out partners who are different from us. This could mean dating people of different races, genders, or sexual orientations than what we’re used to. It’s about broadening our perspectives on love and connection beyond what we’ve been taught as the “norm.” Another way to promote inclusivity is by building a supportive community where everyone’s needs are considered equally valid, regardless of their relationship style or preferences.

Overall, promoting diversity and inclusion within CNM relationships requires us to critically examine our own biases and prejudices while striving toward greater acceptance of all forms of love.

Conclusion: Loving Without Limits

Embrace the beauty and complexity of non-monogamous relationships by understanding your partner’s needs, setting clear boundaries, and practicing open communication – love without limits.

Embracing Non-Monogamy And Loving Your Partner

Embracing non-monogamy in a relationship can be a challenging but rewarding experience. It requires open and honest communication with your partner(s) about your needs, boundaries, and expectations. By doing so, you can strengthen your primary relationship and expand your perspectives on love and connection.

Loving multiple partners is not about sacrificing one for the other or choosing sides; it’s about sharing love equally among those involved. Building a supportive community that respects diversity and inclusion is also important when navigating non-monogamous relationships. Remember to practice self-care, self-reflection, and managing emotions as you navigate accepting a partner’s other relationships. With time, patience, trustworthiness, and understanding, acceptance becomes easier, making polyamory an option for some couples who are up for it!

Tips For Building Trust And Strengthening Your Relationship With Your Partner’s Other Partners.

Building trust in a non-monogamous relationship can be challenging, but it’s essential for maintaining healthy and fulfilling connections with partners. Here are some tips to help beta men build trust and strengthen their relationships with their partner’s other partners:

  1. Communicate openly and honestly: Keep communication lines open by regularly checking in with your partner and their other partners. Be transparent about your feelings, expectations, boundaries, and needs.
  2. Set clear boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries is crucial in any relationship, especially in non-monogamous ones. Discuss what is acceptable behavior and what is not, and set clear consequences for violating those boundaries.
  3. Focus on building friendships: Try to develop a friendship with your partner’s other partner(s). Get to know them as individuals, spend time together doing activities you all enjoy, and find common ground.
  4. Practice empathy: Empathy is vital in building trust and understanding within relationships. Put yourself in your partner’s other partner’s shoes, try to understand their perspective, and show compassion.
  5. Manage jealousy: Jealousy is normal but can be destructive if left unchecked. Recognize when you’re feeling jealous or insecure, communicate those feelings with your partner(s), and practice self-care techniques such as meditation or journaling to manage these emotions.
  6. Respect each other’s time: Time management can be tricky in non-monogamous relationships; it’s essential to respect each other’s time and create schedules that work for everyone.
  7. Seek support from others: Building a supportive community of friends who understand non-monogamy can make all the difference in navigating the challenges that come with it.

Remember that building trust takes time and effort – it won’t happen overnight! Use these tips as a starting point to develop an open-minded approach toward accepting your wife’s boyfriend while still maintaining a strong connection with her.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why would someone choose to accept their partner’s significant other in a relationship?

Accepting a partner’s significant other could be a decision made due to many reasons, such as an open or polyamorous relationship, personal growth, and healing, or the desire to prioritize love and respect over jealousy and possessiveness.

What steps can one take towards accepting their partner’s boyfriend/girlfriend?

The first step is communication with your partner about your feelings, boundaries, and expectations. It is also important to establish trust and mutual respect with the significant other by getting to know them better personally while creating clear agreements that work for everyone involved.

How can accepting my wife’s boyfriend affect our marriage?

Accepting your wife’s boyfriend may have various effects on your marriage, depending on how you approach it as a couple. It requires commitment from both partners towards honest communication, emotional maturity, setting healthy boundaries & rules around intimacy & financial support while valuing each others’ individuality/autonomy within the relationship dynamic.

Is it possible for couples who accept non-monogamy or polyamory to maintain long-term relationships?

Polyamory/non-monogamous relationships are often misunderstood, but when entered into openly/honestly – these types of arrangements certainly have the potential for successful long-term couplings based upon mutual honesty/respect between participants combined with strong levels of trust cultivated early on, which continue being reinforced over time through engaging dialogue/discussions about needs/wants/desires without fear of judgment/repercussion, etc.

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Jared

Jared writes lifestyle content for Unfinished Man with an edgy, provocative voice. His passion for tattoos informs his unique perspective shaped by self-expression. Jared's knack for storytelling and ability to connect with readers delivers entertaining takes on modern manhood.

11 comments on “My Journey to Polyamory: How I Learned to Accept My Wife’s Boyfriend”

  1. Hello,

    I think you are a disgrace to manhood, a sad individual who has convinced himself that allowing your selfish spoilt wife to have sex with another man is the right thing to do, it’s not.
    The right thing to do is boot her a** into touch and find a woman who gives you the respect and attention a husband deserves. I despair for the young men of today if this type of moronic acceptance of women’s lunacy is normalized by men like you.

    Reply
  2. This sounds like a solid plan if you like being a doormat for your wife. Maybe you should date other dudes as well. You’re last sentence says it all. “Gonna check with the wife.. because I can’t make decisions on my own. Please turn in your man card now. It’s been revoked.

    Reply
  3. My own experience:
    About 6 months ago, my wife met this young guy, he is about 30 years younger than she is.
    They felt a connection almost from the start as they met, she discussed with me the way she felt about him and they went out a week later.
    They ended in a hotel for the first time and spent the night together.
    This was the start of a wonderful fulfilling loving relationship which now involves me too.
    Her bf and I have become good friends, we plan surprise getaways for her and him, we have appeared in public, going out for dinner the 3 of us, we agreed that when he is around I surrender my role to him, he becomes the main partner, we agreed on this as this way he has the chance to share the time he has available to the fullest, as I have all the time to be with my wife when he is not around.
    They sleep together when he visits.
    I just feel this happiness filling my heart, when I see how much they care for each other and most importantly how happy she is.
    Our own sex life has shot up to levels we haven’t experienced for years, in her own words the way he desires her brings the best in her and transports her years back feeling desired, always thinking of being with him and with me sexually and otherwise.
    I go as far as saying, this has been the best that has happened in our own married life for the past 6 months and I wish it will continue for a long time.

    Reply
  4. Lol wtf duuuuude!
    Assuming this is not a troll and who cares, the agreements you’re talking about, if you don’t accept them, she’s gonna leave anyway, then carry your ass through divorce and if we talkin about the US, family court will screw you up big time. This shit is only for ppl who don’t want the divorce hassle.

    Reply
  5. I have never experienced this arrangement and I was married for 60 years. However I am a submissive and very much into dominant women and I did have a lady who I worked for as a her houemaid and my wife was a friend of hers. So I think it would work if the wife trained her husband to serve her as a maid doing household tasks to her orders. then taking into account how much control she developed i.e the husband always does the cleaning, clears the table and washed or serves refreshment when she has friends call etc. It would be a easy step for one friend to be male. They chat while drinking coffee the husband has served while he carries on with the chores. Then the next step is obvious and easy when the wife and her male friend retire to the bedroom for an hour.

    Reply
  6. My wife and I were married 16 years when I noticed my her beginning to act differently. She seemed to be pre occupied with something. Our sexual moments started wane in that she was not as passionate. After about a month our three times a week was reduced to two. Then whenever she felt the need. During dinner one evening I bought a special wine and flowers. I toasted to us and looked at her. She looked away. I asked her what was going on with her that she has been distant? She denied anything was wrong. I gave her “a look”, she looked away. I got up and left the table when she asked me to come back. I stood at the table, when she looked down and told me she had lover! I became ill and heaved in the kitchen sink. Asking her how long, she replied three months. I was devastated! I just stared at her in disbelief. She looked at me and reached for my hand trying to reassure me that she loved me and she needed this and I needed to accept this arrangement! Without saying a word I left. Sick to my stomach! She tried to stop me unsuccessfully. I drove to a bar and drank scotch till closing. Often I felt like crying and screaming! I drove back home, she was getting ready for bed. She approached me and I asked why? She said she needed excitement and someone to reignite her spirit! I told her I was not okay with this and wanted it to stop. I said if she didn’t I would divorce her. She acted so surprised and shocked I would not go along with it telling me it wouldn’t affect our relationship but probably enhance it! I asked if they were intimate? She said yes quite a few times. She kept trying to get me to understand how important it was for her to be happy! When I mentioned me dating too she gave me like an evil eye but said nothing! I packed a suitcase and important banking and investment papers. I took in a motel and she continues to see and bed him. She received the divorce papers a few days later freaking out that I wouldn’t have at least tried to accept this because I loved her and I did but was not willing to share! I told her her I have a negative attitude toward cheating! She didn’t see it as cheating just expanding her horizons and told me to stop this foolishness and try to live with it! She ripped my heart out and I went through with it! The divorce was final a few days ago and I am lonely and miss the woman I loved before her new way of life! It wasn’t jealousy or insecurities! It was deceit and cheating! How could I trust her ever again!

    Reply

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