REALFACE Glamouflage – Inspired by William Gibson’s “Ugly T-shirt”

Let me tell you a little secret: I absolutely hate Facebook.

My mother told me that “hate” is a strong word, and to use “dislike” instead, but no… I actually hate Facebook. I deleted my account back in January, and the experience has been incredible. I feel like a new man, and much like the annoying born again *insert religion here*, I’m encouraging as many people as I can to give Facebook the axe and reclaim their lives.

So, perhaps you’re wondering what the hell some ugly t-shirts have to do with Facebook, and that, my friend, is an excellent question.

A Real Life “Ugly T-shirt”… Sort Of

Have you ever read any of William Gibson’s books? If not, it doesn’t matter. Suffice it to say that in one of his most recent books, he talked about a special T-shirt that a person could wear to thwart facial recognition software on cameras. Neat, right? Well, it doesn’t exist (at least not really), but these hideous monstrosities by Simone C. Niquille are about the closest thing we’ve got.

This… is a shirt with Michael Jackson’s face plastered all over it. Though it won’t protect you from the prying eyes of security cameras, it will help you fuck with Facebook in a most excellent way. You see, Michael’s handsome face combined with various shapes and objects are very, very confusing to Facebook’s facial recognition tagging software. If someone takes a photo of you while you’re wearing this shirt, Facebook won’t be able to automatically tag you.

This “Glamouflage” is based on a style of camouflage used in World War 1 called Dazzle. It was used on ships to disorient anyone trying to judge the ships speed and direction.If someone plastered this type of camouflage on a ship these days, I bet they would be equally confused.

The only problem with these shirts is that they’re absolutely hideous beyond all hope and reason. Having said that, they look like something a hipster would wear, so perhaps Simone has the right idea here and will actually make a fortune selling them.

Brace yourself, because I’m about to tell you something even wilder: these shirts cost $65 USD a pop! Yes, unfortunately I’m not even joking. The only saving grace is that they are indeed custom printed, and I’m assuming that’s based on imagery that you provide. You could plaster the shirts with pictures of a stylized cat’s anus if you were so inclined, though I don’t recommend it.

If you’re stoked to pick one up, then you can head over to REALFACE and order one.