When a relationship ends we always look back and consider what went wrong. If we’re honest with ourselves we’ll usually discover that whatever eventually led to the relationship’s demise was evident from the beginning. We just chose to look the other way.
Our Core Nature Remains Constant
It’s rare that someone completely changes during a relationship. Women will usually show us the attributes that eventually drive us crazy right from the start. However, we’re often willing to overlook these deal breakers. We tell ourselves, “that’s not really the way she is” or “she was that way with her ex-boyfriend but she’s changed”. Of course, we’re all constantly evolving but our core nature doesn’t really change that much.
Why We Overlook The Bad
As the visually/physically oriented gender that we are, we most often overlook these ugly attributes because we’re letting our “commander down below” run the show and ignoring what we know to be true. We’re willing to see past the nastiest or most boring of characteristics if a woman is physically attractive and the sex is great. However no matter how hot she is or how much fun you have in bed, I guarantee that you will reach a point where that strategy will implode. At some point you won’t be able to bear the thought of having to sit across the table from her and think of things to say or mind tricks to play with yourself to avoid facing the qualities about her that you absolutely can’t stand. No matter how hot she is…it won’t be worth it.
Women will always show you their true colors in the beginning. What we do as humans is tend to take in all of a woman’s qualities and accentuate the positive attributes we see and mute the ones we know are going to be trouble in the long run. This is our good nature that really wants our connection with this woman to work, but the hard truth is unavoidable. It’s critical to evaluate warning signs from the beginning and recognize what a woman is truly like based on her behavior and her past. Consider what she is and not what you want her to be.
Don’t Expect Change – Accept The Total Package
If she tells you stories about how she cheated on her last boyfriend she’s more than likely going to cheat on you too. If she thinks your best friends are jerks, she’s probably not going to mix well when you have group events. If she is overly reactionary to small things, get ready for a lot of fights about things unrelated to what’s really on her mind. Take off your Superman cape and realize that’s how she operates and you’re not going to be the one to save her.
Please don’t misunderstand. No one is perfect, including me. We are all a collection of good qualities and not so good qualities and I don’t suggest dropping every woman that shows you something undesirable. What I am suggesting however, is not to look away from those undesirable qualities. Instead, treat them as if they will likely not go away and ask yourself if you can live with them. In short, does the good outweigh the bad and are the bad attributes not so bad in your book? Can you truly accept the totality of her with awareness and acceptance? If so, you’re on your way to a great relationship.
