The angels drive out Lucifer with.... assault rifles?
The bible is one of those things that stirs up a lot of mixed feelings amongst our readership; regardless of this, it’s safe to say that no matter what you believe in, there are some pretty damn great stories in the good book. Being able to produce endless amounts of free booze, horrific monsters, cataclysmic disasters- it’s got everything you’d want in a multi-billion dollar summer blockbuster. Rather than arguing over what’s theologically sound, we’d rather just enjoy the hilariously vengeful side of God, as offered in gloriously detailed plastic by The Brick Testament. Check out some of these pretty ridiculous, tongue in cheek illustrations of biblical scenes after the jump.
Flying laser fire hands?God is not amused with the dalliances of man.But those of heavenly beings are A-okay!God also has some pretty cool lackeys.There are the requisite gratuitous flailers...And graphic violence.He uses neat stuff like mountains, sneaking up on unsuspecting sinners.Apparently, human heads are like grapes for harvesting to God.And there just happens to be a giant human-corpse wine press of doom that God has kicking around.Delicious people-'wine'!The issue of circumcision is also addressed.Treated with respect and solemnity, of course."Dude, we're gonna need another bucket."Apparently there are laws in the bible to govern pooping.There is guidance on appropriate sexual relations...And bestiality, of course.There are also a LOT of massacres.Really- a crapload of massacres.Seriously.God did Armaggedon before Bruce Willis was cool.Even though he's a great guy, he's not afraid to mess our shit up.Satan's always out there, tempting you with hot women......and base desires...But don't worry...He's totally got your back.
Author, Designer, and "that girl your mother warned you about." Looking good seems to be my job, whether it's working with the site design, or a number of other more interesting capacities. I have a ridiculous sense of humour and a brutal sense of honesty- you'll see a lot of that coming through in my writing, so don't say I didn't warn you if I somehow manage to offend you AND hurt your feelings at the same time. On the plus side, it makes my dating and advice columns a lot more pertinent to an unfinished man in the real world.
