If you were unfortunate enough to receive your high school education here in Canada, then you may remember one particularly horrible piece of required reading by our fine government: The Hobbit.
The Hobbit wasn’t the most painful novel I’ve ever read, but it certainly holds one of the top spots on my “Horrible Books to Read” list. It’s not just that the characters never stop singing and carrying on like morons, but that aside from that, nothing actually happens! Absolutely… nothing. Even worse, is that someone deemed it necessary to drudge up this horror of a novel in the form of a movie, aptly named The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. It’s unexpected because you just can’t imagine how crappy the whole affair is until you’ve had to endure all 12 hours of it in a theater. Not even Tolkiens son liked it!
It’s for that reason, and that reason alone that I’ve decided to share with you a much re-cut of the film called The Office: An Unexpected Journey. See what they did there? I’m not going to spoil it for you, so suffice to say, if you’ve seen the British version of the office (or at the very least know of Ricky Gervais) then you’re in for an experience that far exceeds that of the movie this is based on.
What was Peter Jackson Thinking??!?
If you were suckered into seeing the movie like I was, then what did you think? The re-cut is better, right? At the very least there wasn’t any singing, and for me… that counts for quite a bit. I can only handle so much of that crap.
Now, before you slam me for bashing the sacred works of Tolkien, please know that I genuinely enjoyed all of his other work. I mean, except for The Silmarillion, which was even worse than The Hobbit, but everything else was excellent! I swear, I was up until all hours of the night, frantically reading through the Lord of the Rings series before the first movie came out. It was like that scene where Bilbo Baggins is kept up all night by the irritating, singing dancing dwarves, except that there was no singing, dancing, or dwarves, and I could read un-interupted. That’s one thing Bilbo (Martin Freeman) and I agree on… the dwarves really are annoying.
