The other day I had a very interesting encounter in a local thrift store. You see I was looking for a jacket to complete a cheap costume for a party when I was approached by a young woman. She wanted to know if I had ever been skiing, and if I could recognize some ski boots. Now being a southern gentleman, born and raised, I immediately recognized the water ski boots, but also recognized a deep desire in my life. The desire to not only move at high speed, but to also be cold whilst doing it.
Preparing for the Cold, Floridian Style
Now while many of you might have been born into the winter wonderland of Northern Climates, I live in Florida. The closest I’ve ever come to experiencing snow in Florida is scraping built up ice out of my freezer. When I drink hot chocolate I have to set my A/C as low as it can go just so I don’t feel gross while drinking it. For crying out loud, it is December 5th and is currently 77 degrees Fahrenheit. Our trees don’t even turn a different color throughout the year!
So, my desire to enjoy the cold has been calling to me, yet I am acutely aware that I have no skills with handling said cold. I would assume that I will need to begin rigorous training by bathing in ice water. I’ve also been told that what I call a “Jacket” is, in fact, not one. So I suppose I’ll have to buy myself a winter jacket from wherever I go. There are even special tires for snow that sometimes need chains. How are you supposed to drive if you chain your tires to stuff?
In reality, I probably shouldn’t be bothering with this stuff and leave it to a native. After all I spend most of my winter educating pasty white northerners as to why their wearing a pair of shorts is offensive. But a man has to start somewhere, so perhaps I’ll continue researching and see if I can find more relaxing luxury sky resorts to visit. If I’m going to give skiing a fair shake, I may as well go balls out and take a trip to the UK to do it. Now that would be an experience to remember.
(Photo by Greg Younger)
We never had a summer this year 🙁
It just rained really.