A relationship is defined by the two people participating in it. Though society has some pretty strong ideas of what defines a relationship, ultimately, as long as you agree, you can make your own rules. Employ these kinky alternative options to break up the monotony of monogamy:
Invite a third party into the bedroom. Begin by broaching the subject with your lover to see how he/she feels about the situation. Drop hints that you may be into a threesome, like how you had a dream about it or how you know a couple who invited in a third and you though it was sexy.
If your partner is into it, then having a long discussion about what you both want from this encounter. Talk about how you envision the process going down: if you want to get to know somebody first or prefer someone totally random, or maybe proposition somebody you already know and feel comfortable with.
Pick a venue for picking up a third: a bar, Craigslist or use online dating. Decide what boundaries you want during the naughty date: do you want him to touch her, do you want her to kiss him? Is protection a must-do? Or will there be no restrictions? Talking these kinds of things out beforehand could go a long way to prevent hurt feelings (and std’s) that could crop up when adding another into your intimacy.
After the encounter, re-visit your conversation: were you comfortable with what happened? Do you want your significant other to have any contact with your playmate without you? Do you want to do it again? Did you like the person you picked, or do you want to try somebody different next time?
A real-life case in point: John and his wife troll for girlfriends on Tinder and “date” potential ladies as a couple. They court her as an individual would, except as a team. They screen potential partners, meet them in public, decide if they all have chemistry and would like to continue dating.
After several rendezvous they pursue intimacy if it feels right to all parties involved. This situation works for them. He says that they prefer to have a girlfriend than act as a duo. They have an explicit understanding of boundaries and are, first and foremost, committed to their marriage.
Open the Relationship
Having an open relationship means that you establish a core relationship with just the two of you, but you are open to dating other people. This venture isn’t for the faint-of-heart or jealous types, but it can be a refreshing way to have your cake and eat it too and serve the right couple well.
As with the threesome, it is vital to consider your boundaries, engage in a long discussion with your significant other, and consistently check in with how you are both feeling. Maintaining relationships with multiple people at once can get messy emotionally, and possible consequences always loom. However, those who are ammenable to open relationships also tend to be more open-minded and can more easily roll with the punches should somebody fall in love with somebody else.
Case study in point: Hope was in a serious relationship with a man, but found herself increasingly attracted to her yoga teacher, who was a married woman. As their working relationship progressed, Hope felt comfortable enough to profess her feelings, and in doing so, found out her teacher felt the same way. With the permission and encouragement of her partner, Hope pursued a relationship with her teacher that included the teacher’s husband.
Somewhere along the way, Hope found herself falling in love with her teacher, but when it became clear that her teacher had no intention of leaving her husband, she broke off the relationship with her teacher and, broken-hearted and questioning her sexual orientation, left her partner as well. While all parties now agree that in the long-run, life is better because of it, the experience was a painful one.
Play Pretend
Dirty talk and role play can go a long way in the bedroom and can provide a delectable and risk-free option to scratch that itch without any permanent damage. If you both are into it, bring your fantasy about being with somebody else into the bedroom. If you are both excited by the idea of a threesome, describe how you see the threesome playing out to each other while you are being intimate. Incite the excitement of novelty.[nofollow]
